Michael Duncannon sat in the 'Silver Spoon' cafe, sipping his cooling coffee as he thought about his wife, Assumpta's forthcoming birthday, she would be 60 years old and he wanted to do something memorable to mark the occasion. But what ?
'Hey Michael, mo chara, what are ye looking so glum about ?' a voice broke into Michael's reverie.
It was his colleague and long time friend, Liam Cassidy,.
'Ach hello there Liam, not glum exactly, I'm trying to think of a great birthday gift for Assumpta, ye know it's her birthday in a couple of weeks?'
'To be sure I know,' replied Liam, 'Aren't I invited to the shindig meself and playing ye some tunes to kick ye heels up to.'
Michael smiled broadly, Liam's playing was legendary around these parts and he could be sure that he and his other two musicians would give them a rare old time.
'Aye , that's true and we're looking forward to it, for sure.'
'Well,' Liam grinned cheekily, 'I know ye'll come up with something, though Assumpta isn't the easiest of women to please,'
'She's not as bad as people make out, she's been a good wife to me all these years and beneath that ample bosom beats a heart of gold,' he winked.

The next morning Michael was having his tea break in the work's canteen when Liam spotted him and made a bee line towards him,
'Hey Michael' he called across the busy cafe,'wait up a moment, I've had a brilliant idea for Assumpta's birthday!'
They sat back down, Michael was an accountant for a busy furniture company and could take his time, whereas Liam, a carpenter, worked on the shop floor and had to stick to the rules regarding break times.
'Well, spit it out young fella, what's this brainwave ye've had?' Michael said, his eyes twinkling with mirth as he watched Liam get all excited.
'I heard about it just by chance, heard the women gossiping as always on the corner while I was waiting for the bus, usually it all goes in one ear and out the other, ye know how those women can go on, only the other day they were talking about the new priest and...'
'Liam, get on with it me lad , or the management will be docking ye wages for sure,' Michael urged.
'Yes, ye're right, so they were jabbering on about some famous artist who is coming to town to paint the scenery around Donegal, he also paints portraits,' Liam looked at Michael knowingly.
'And so....,' inquired Michael,
'Ach man, can ye not work it out, a portrait of Assumpta by a famous artist, she'll be happy for months off that,' chuckled Liam
'But I really wanted a grand surprise for her, ye know, to really see her face light up. Michael looked doubtful, though it was a better idea than any he had had.
'Well, that's the beauty of it all, this guy can paint from a photograph if ye have a good one of her, I mean she's a handsome woman to be sure, I'm certain ye can find one?'
'Hmmmm, yes there is a lovely one of her at our Robbie's wedding, she looked a real picture that day, I could try with that one I suppose.'
'There ye go then, problem solved! Now I'd better go before Mr Finnegan has my hide for one of his armchairs ,' he laughed raucously.

So, the days passed and Michael had arranged the deal with the artist, Stephen a tall, thin young man with hair down to his waist and deeply inquisitive eyes, Michael thought. He had taken the photo and Stephen said it was grand to paint from, everything was sorted. Michael and the artist would unveil it at the party for all to admire his wife immortalized in oils.

The party was in full swing, Liam and the boys had the crowd jigging and singing to the old favourites and the food was a triumph! Assumpta's face was flushed with happiness and Michael was feeling very smug at his successful surprise party and the gift to come.

Liam's boys played a little fanfare as Michael went up to say a few words to his wife which brought many a tear to the ladies. Assumpta had a lump in her throat as she listened to him talk about his love for her and the happiness she had brought him over the years. Then finally, the moment had come for the unveiling of the surprise gift. Stephen carried in the painting covered with a sheet and placed it before Assumpta on the easel. After a few words to the crowd he swiped the sheet off with a flourish and there before Assumpta was the ugliest painting she had ever seen in her life!
'Is this some kind of joke, Michael Duncannon!?' she blustered.
''Joke!?', Michael looked totally bemused, he had not seen the painting himself and was n for quite a shock.
The painting was a riot of colour, Assumpta's face a vivid green, her eyes bright red, her hair cobalt blue!
'What in the name of all that's holy is this supposed to be!?' Michael glared at Stephen
'I painted what I saw in your wife,' stated Stephen indignantly, 'green for the love of her country , the emerald isle which I see in her face, red flames in her eyes for her fiery spirit and her blue locks I see is the serenity within when she thinks of you and her love for you, as constant as the ocean' I have synaesthesia and I feel my subjects more than see them, you understand.
Michael said,'But, it doesn't look like my wife to me!,''
Assumpta, considering what Stephen had said and surprised her husband by saying ,'On the contrary, I think it's a wonderful painting Michael, he has captured me to a tee, I love it, it is me through and through!'
Michael looked at his wife smiling and started to laugh out loud, 'Sumpta, me girl, ye never fail to surprise me,'
'Well now Michael Duncannon , isn't that how it should be and I'm proud to hear that after all these years, now then Liam play us a smoochie, so that I can twirl me husband around that dance floor.'
Michael had to concede that life with Assumpta could often be difficult, but it was always colourful, that was for sure!.